=> Our squad leader was yelling at a soldier when he abruptly stopped and said, "I'm done yelling at you. It doesn't work." He stormed off and returned carrying a small potted tree. "You will carry this tree with you wherever you go. If anyone asks you why you are carrying this tree, you will say, 'It's to replace the oxygen I stole from everyone else."
=> A recruit thought he was special because he was an Eagle Scout. The drill instructor picked up on this and took him into the woods and made him build a nest. Then he had him squat over it in order to keep his eggs warm.