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Humor in Uniform

After a weekend vacation, the captain got to the military base only to find out that none of his soldiers made it on time. It took 3 hours before they started showing up. By then he was about to explode with rage. He decided to summon each of them to his office and get an explanation.

The first soldier walks in and the captain asks: "Well, what's your excuse for showing up so late?"

"Sorry, sir! I can explain! You see, I was late for the bus and had to hitchhike, no cars stopped, and then suddenly, an old man driving a horse and buggy stops and offers me a ride! Well, you know, I couldn't refuse the man's kind gesture, and I got on, only it took forever to get here, and that's why I was late!"

"Hmmph," said the Capt, "I guess that's a reasonable explanation," and he let the soldier go. He called the next soldier in and asked for his excuse.

"Sorry, sir! I can explain! You see, I was late for the bus and had to hitchhike, then this old woman with a horse and carriage stopped for me..." and the soldier tells him the same story, that he was late because the buggy was so slow.

One after another, all the soldiers file in and tell him the exact same story.They all felt too bad to say no, and were late as a consequence.

The last soldier than walks in, and the Captain, now quite angry, says: "I suppose you hitch-hiked too?" His voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Yes, sir!"

"And I suppose you also got a ride?"

"Yes, sir!"

"And I suppose it was on a horse and buggy?"

"No sir!"

"No???" asked the surprised Captain.

"No sir, it was Mercedes, sir!"

"Then why the heck were you late??" Shouted the Captain.

"We tried to make good time sir," answered the soldier apologetically, "but the road was completely blocked with horses and buggies!"